By Mark Cooke
‘Tis the season to be bombarded with questions about our New Year resolutions. This is NOT one of those articles. In fact, I’m going to give you an exit ramp from even reading this blog by answering one question: Are you serious about meeting goals in 2020 (or even discovering them!)? If you are, you might be interested in the information I’m sharing. On the other hand, if you’re content with your list of wishes and dreams you want to accomplish, feel free to write out traditional resolutions and track how long it takes for them to become a memory instead of reality.
I want to share an exercise I learned about 23 years ago that continues to have a major impact on my life. Some of these concepts are probably familiar to you, but the exercise to make them come alive is probably new. Unfortunately, I cannot remember from which book I learned this exercise, and believe me I’ve tried to find it, or I would give credit where it is due. I so appreciate the person who came up with this and shared it with the world. I hope it makes a difference in your life.
Another warning: This takes some diligence, mostly in the first 7 days, but also the ongoing follow through. I’ve shared this with many people but very few have the commitment to see it through. It’s no surprise that those who did were deeply impacted!
A few preliminary concepts before I begin the step-by-step instructions: I’m confident the lessons learned by many in the past are true – goals need to be in writing to be effective. I’ve also come to learn that our ongoing state of mind makes a huge impact on our success, whatever success might mean to the individual. The goal of this exercise is to get you focused on what you hope your life will look like rather than focusing on your current life. Don’t get me wrong; I believe we need to be honest about our current life, but our focus needs to be on what we want, not just what we have.
Picture this: You’re holding a rubber band with your index fingers and thumb of each hand, pulling it apart. The tension that is caused in the rubber band is like stress in our lives. Not all stress is bad, and good stress can move us in a positive direction if we are intentional about harnessing it. Now envision that your left hand is your current life and your right hand is your vision of the future. As the tension increases in the rubber band, one side will eventually have to let go. The goal of this exercise is to help you focus on the right hand, your vision. Allow the stress to pull you in the right direction instead of holding you back, keeping your focus on your present situation for the long term.
With confidence, I can tell you this is powerful. I’ve now done this exercise several times and am committing to doing it again in 2020. Over the years, I have been overwhelmed by the accuracy of my vision becoming reality! This is true in my personal life, my spiritual life and in my business life.
Now, on to the step-by-step instructions. Remember, the first seven days is where the real work comes in so I suggest calendaring an appropriate day to begin your goal-setting journey. Read through these instructions several times before you begin. By the end of the seven days, you should have a clear vision of what you want your life to look like in the future in the form of a journal entry.
This exercise will give you a list of 70 items for each of the two categories, with seven of the most important areas circled throughout each list. After reviewing your list, write a new list of only the circled areas for the things you want most in your life to come true. Then reflect on your life as you’ve envisioned it and write a journal entry as if it is all true.
Each day for a total of seven days:
1. Journal a list of 10 things you no longer want in your life.
2. Journal a list of 10 things in your life you want to keep or add.
3. Each day circle the most important statement or idea on the new list.
As you progress through the seven days, you may find it harder each day to come up with 10 unique items. Because of this, I encourage you to make the lists as specific as possible. Instead of writing “I no longer want debt in my life,” list “I don’t want an auto loan, I don’t want a mortgage, I don’t want any student loan debt.” Near the last few days of my list making I even added “I don’t want the burned-out light bulb in my study!”
Once this hardest part is done, go back and read your future journal entry each day. Try to do this early in the morning so that powerful vision, the good stress, can pull you all day long! Over the months and years, you’ll see aspects of that entry start to come true in your life.
If you’ve read this far, then I know you at least have an interest in having a more fulfilling life. Find a rubber band and pull it apart to experience that tension. Going forward, will you focus on the current life or your future vision? If you finish this exercise, I would be delighted to hear about your experience!